Well, I always prefer to say "yes" to everything. Saying "yes" has lot of positive implications in life. When you say "yes", you gain new friends, new relationships, new ventures and you learn something new in life. However, on some occasions it becomes very important to say "no" to some things in life.

We all would admit that we find it very difficult to say "no", right? We all would definitely say "yes" where we can help others but there are occasions where we say "yes", not because we can do it, but because we do not want to jeopardize our relationships with others or disappoint others.

We all prefer to say "yes" where we can and say "no" as less as possible but in some situations it is very vital that we learn to say "no".

Saying "yes" to everything is so easy, isn't it? And I am sure we all would wish to have the super power to do everything we can. Because, when we say "yes", we make others happy. However, it's not necessarily the best answer all the time. You definitely make others happy but, the basic question is "are you happy?" Execution of saying "yes" can be very difficult. When you say "yes" to something you do not like, you are indirectly saying "no" to something that you love or when you say "yes" to a job you do not enjoy, you are indirectly saying "no" to your dreams.

Saying "no" involves risk and courage. People who are clear about their ideas and their ambitions in life find it easy to say "no". In such cases, you compare the result, which every decision will have, on your ambition. If saying "yes" can affect your ambition in life, you say "no" without hesitation.

We see so many students who have a career that they never wanted to opt for. They study subjects that never interested them. They became a part of it because other's forced them to be. They said "yes" because that made their family members happy and also because they did not have the courage to say "no". But the result of "not saying no" then, has had serious effect on them now. I have friends who still curse themselves for taking up biotechnology or engineering instead of adventure sports or journalism because sports and journalism was their forte. The result: they may be earning high salary today but something inside them keeps them unhappy. After all, material things in life do not lure you for long. It's the internal satisfaction that matters the most.

Saying "no" to things also indirectly leads to respecting yourself. When you say "no", you are respecting your time. You are conscious of whatever you do, you say no to things that do not interest you, you are conscious on things that you spend on, you say no to people who do not appreciate you and you start respecting your goals in life. When you feel that others are more important in life than you, you say "yes" to whatever they say.

Having said all these, how does one say "no"?

1)      Explain your situation: If you are requested to do a task, your schedule is tight and you do not want to upset your partner, explain him in a polite tone about the task you are doing right now. If your partner understands the situation, he will not persuade you further. However, please remember, you are not obliged to do so. Saying "no" is your right.

2)      Consideration: You may be able to say sentences like "I will try but I do not commit". This way, if you finish your task before time, you can consider helping your friend.

3)      Firm No: Sometimes it's just impossible to take any additional task. In such case, it would be better if we firmly yet politely say "no".

4)      Encourage: You can politely say "no" and then encourage your partner to try the task himself. If any need arise, you will help him.

5)      Change the topic: Sometimes a plain "no" does not work. If you are forced to perform a task even when you have firmly said "no", it's better to change the topic immediately. Eg: A colleague forces you to have a cup of coffee and you are not interested. You firmly say "no", however, your colleague still insists. In such case, say "no" again and change the topic to something that may interest him more than a coffee.

Do not feel guilty, when you say no. Sometimes, it's good to listen to your heart

Best Regards,

Reshmi Nair

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