I woo women
with my sensuous and godlike trombone playing, I can pilot
bicycles up severe inclines with unflagging speed, and I
cook Thirty-Minute Brownies in twenty minutes. I am an
expert in stucco, a veteran in love, and an outlaw in Peru.
Using
only a hoe and a large glass of water, I once single-handedly
defended a small village in the Amazon Basin from a horde of
ferocious army ants. I play bluegrass cello, I was scouted by
the Mets, I am the subject of numerous documentaries. When I'm
bored, I build large suspension bridges in my yard. I enjoy
urban hang gliding. On Wednesdays, after school, I repair
electrical appliances free of charge.
I am an abstract artist, a
concrete analyst, and a ruthless bookie. Critics worldwide
swoon over my original line of corduroy evening wear. I don't
perspire. I am a private citizen, yet I receive fan mail. I
have been caller number nine and have won the weekend passes.
Last summer, I toured New Jersey with a traveling
centrifugal-force demonstration. I bat .400. My deft floral
arrangements have earned me fame in international botany
circles. Children trust me.
I can hurl tennis rackets at
small moving objects with deadly accuracy. I once read
Paradise Lost, Moby Dick, and David Copperfield in one day and
still had time to refurbish an entire dining room that
evening. I know the exact location of every food item in the
supermarket. I have performed several covert operations for
the CIA. I sleep once a week; when I do sleep, I sleep in a
chair.
While on vacation in Canada,
I successfully negotiated with a group of terrorists who had
seized a small bakery. The laws of physics do not apply to me.
I balance, I weave, I dodge,
I frolic, and my bills are all paid. On weekends, to let off
steam, I participate in full-contact origami. Years ago, I
discovered the meaning of life but forgot to write it down. I
have made extraordinary four course meals using only a mouli
and a toaster oven. I breed prizewinning clams. I have won
bullfights in San Juan, cliff-diving competitions in Sri
Lanka, and spelling bees at the Kremlin. I
have played Hamlet, I have performed open-heart surgery, and I
have spoken with Elvis.
But I have not yet gone to
college. have ever applied to a foreign university for
admission you would have encountered the toughest hurdle in
the application process - writing essays to support your
application. Increasingly post graduate institutes of
education in India too are using essays or statements of
purpose as part of the selection procedure. Some companies
also ask entry level applicants to write a an essay.
